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Find
Faults Before It's Too Late
by Nancy Fagan,
M.S., ExpertLoveAdvice.com
Many men and women find themselves
falling into patterns of getting
involved with the "wrong" kind of
partner. This may prove to be
frustrating, resulting in a helpless
feeling. The question "Why?" is often
asked. "Why do I keep getting involved
with the same kind of men/women?"
Well, let me tell you. It is because
you aren't looking for early warning
signs that signal you to get away. It
might also mean that you are unaware
of the warning signs but rationalize
their potential ramifications. Be that
as it may, you are attracted to that
"bad" trait or traits in men/women.
Consequently, those characteristics
lead to unhealthy relationships.
The only way to avoid repeating
harmful patterns is to be able to
recognize the adverse signs early on.
The earlier you see the signs, the
easier it is to avoid getting hurt
emotionally. Change is not
comfortable. If you want to have a
healthy relationship, you will have to
learn to be attracted to a different
type of person. To do this, you need
to make slight changes. The easiest is
to redirect your first conversations
with people you find attractive. These
conversations should take on a purpose
of screening for unwanted traits.
When a woman, for instance, gets
caught up in conversation with an
attractive man, it's easy to get lost
in his voice, eyes, touch, and so on.
Before you know it, the conversation
meanders without a focus and you have
no idea if he shares similar bad
traits as your ex. But, you don't have
to let this happen.
You can set your goal to unveil the
man's "crucial topics" (issues that
broke your previous relationship(s).
For instance, if your ex was an
alcoholic, keep an eye out for how
much he drinks and how important
alcohol is in his life. The key is to
be casual and not make it sound like
you're interrogating him. Keep in mind
that he will have no idea what you are
thinking, only that you are having
light conversation.
I'm sure you have the idea: make a
point of finding the signs of the
relationships that have impacted your
past relationships negatively.
Regardless of how attracted you are to
a man, don't rationalize the red flags
waving in front of your eyes. Making
excuses for these will lend itself to
the same results you had with the last
man-a bad relationship.
Nancy Fagan, M.S., author of “The
Complete Idiot’s Guide to Romance” and
“Desirable Men: How to Find Them.” To
read more, visit
www.ExpertLoveAdvice.com
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